Hoop Hero Pillows

A basketball game

'We're counting on you, Luther. The game's to 21, winner's outs... And I hope we don't need to remind you what happens to all of us if you lose.'

'I can't dunk.'

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

'I do a lot of icing. It's part of my mellowness.'

PROBLEM AREAS

'Anything is possible in our great country, son. If an Afro-American can become president, a white man can become a pro basketball player.'

I love Basketball.

'Lungs, normal. Heart, normal. Kidneys, normal. For the life of me, I can't figure out where your pain is coming... wait. Do you play hockey?'

"Ever since the elevator broke down, we've learned that our staff is in desperate need of a fitness program. Especially, since we're only one floor up."

Kids playing ice hockey for a medal.

Zdeno Chara

'This game is going to be a character-building experience.'

A muscle pushing a body builders brain out of his skull.

Office Safety.

Goalie Wall.

Athletic Darwinism.

You look like a team player. I like that!

Another entry from the encyclopedia of gaming: Pixel sprain - any physical injury incurred from intense video game play.

"Nicole, Kyle, would you guys burn my yearbook?"

'Say, Doc, I'll need more of that steroid stuff for old King. He's still kind of peaked. Must need some heavy doses."

Sit-ups / Stationary-ups

T-Rex: the Best Hockey Goalie

"I feel sorry for kids these days - they're always being tested for something"

"I knew there would be a time I could wear them without destroying my feet."

Mount Everest.

I love hockey!

Canadian Jesus

"Trust me. This is the last place they'll find us."

Society for the vertically challenged: Our founder.

'Your feet are killing me!'

"This is a tough hockey league. I'm just the team's webmaster."

High-jump book is on top shelf in library.

'On second thought, you're right. It was incidental contact.'