Hook Dodger Fan Gifts

Fish with a hook tells a good tale.

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

The Classy Dog: 'Dine & dance hotdogs: '50 cents a dance'.

Monster Baseball

"Got him up at the stadium, Chief. It was Yankee Duck Day."

'He's not a skilled pitcher. In fact, he throws like a nerd...'

'If you're proposing, Nigel, get it done before full time!'

"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"

'Watch out, Dewey! Cow pie!'

'Time out! He needs a hug!!'

'The nurse wanted you to pee in THIS type of cup.'

"A game similar to baseball was first played in the Olympics in 1996." I didn't think "Jeapardy!" had any softball questions.

'Me? Argue? ...No, sir! That was an excellent call.'

What would happen if Shakespeare lived centuries later and tried being a baseball umpire? Out, damned spot! Out, I say! Can you explain the infield fly rule. It is madness yet there is method in it! What's in a name? A rose by any other name would hit as sweet! Fair is foul, and foul is fair. You should stick to writing.

Sports Medicine.

"Hey! What's with the 'home run trot'? You struck out!"

At spring training.

I use the word "batter" when talking about either of my two favorite things, pancakes and baseball!

'Go ahead, big bowler... Show me what you've got!'

'Safe!'

A Not So Grand Slam.

Mom Umpires

"My dad is more into technology than sports. I dropped a ball today, so he thinks my mitt has a virus."

T-Rex Baseball

A diamond robbery goes wrong when the hook catches the sleeping museum guard's hat

"Your inability to turn off your critical voice, combined with your fear of disappointing your overbearing, demanding father, is causing you to lose faith in your fastball."

'He supports 3 strikes and you're out.'

"Why not try chocolate? ...and be just like the Pros!"

"That was two what?"

Who won what game?

'These things always taste better at the ballpark.'

A student at Baseball Umpire School sees a sign on a door Closed Taking A Ball Four

Success often means distracting the competition.