Honky-tonk Hero Gifts

Rhinestone Accountant

Country Girl Yeee Haaa!

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

The Hobby Store

Two old superheroes on a park bench feeding the birds.

'Now I am become life, creator of worlds."

"We've all said things about heliocentricity that look bad when taken out of context."

"I said, 'I'm not on duty! I just came back to get my flip-flops.'"

'I feel like I'm in a rut, too!'

'If you can't sleep...imagine you're at work.'

"Boy I love this garden, there are flowers everywhere: Not only is the lady a keen gardener, but she is retired now..."

"I'm catching up on my inertia."

"Sosa's great, but McGwire is my hero."

"What's it like, working with your hands?"

'He's here to hit the high notes.'

Gardener's Calendar: Look out for damage by hail.

'Not another charity shop.'

Nelly Copter

June: Aphid, millipedes, weevils,scab, blackleg...and other pests will be active.

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of contracting are the hardest.'

As a child Neil Armstrong watches a game of hopscotch.. "that's one small.."

"No thanks. Our ducks have already been cleaned."

School crossing

'Mom! Can my role model stay for dinner? He's suspended for three games and has nowhere to go.'

'You constructed a beautiful work table. You're a talented woodworking legend in your own life.'

'Dinnertime!', 'Not now, Mom -- the fate of the Galaxy is in my hands!'

Gardener's Calendar: Make sure your geraniums have not damped off.

"If you don't know the difference between their and there, your a fool."

Beer Keg Babies

"Forgot my shears, then when I managed to clamber into here, knackered, wasn't I?"