Honeymooners Gifts

Motel has two cars parked outside, one with 'Just Married' sticker, the other with 'Just Friends'.

"Nigel, I thought the idea of us honeymooning in Aspen was we were going to learn to ski together."

"So how's married life?"

Ok, ok, you were right - I should have tied them to the back. Just Married.

Just Married

'Oh no, not rain. . . Not on our honeymoon.'

'Now don't forget, Sharon, you'll have to help me look for my contact lenses in the morning.'

'Someplace where we could take lots of selfies with national monuments...'

Cutaway view of Ocean liner.

Couple looking at the statue of Eros by moonlight.

"I said I wanted to visit the Brandenburg Gate."

"I think I need an extra pillow."

'I love our hideaway. I only wish we could find it.'

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

Pina Coladas

'Stop complaining woman, you wanted a boating holiday!'

Boat wedding.

"Who told the quartet to play 'Highway to Hell'?"

Mrs Howell packs 200 changes of clothing for a 3-hour tour.

Honey remember what I said about feeding the birds.

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa

Hey, it's true, you really can hear the sea in these shells!

"As near as I can figure, we're in the Unpainted Desert!"

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

'Now try and relax - we're on holiday!'

'We'd just like to get away from all leading economic indicators for a while.'

'I love it when you spoon me.'

'Next year I'm hiring a tank!'

Is that pancake ready yet?

"We are doing something. You're just not good at it."

Inappropriate Snowmen

Couples Massage: "Did you remember the body oil?"

Easter Island Shades...

Beach hats