Homework Excuse Artist Gifts

'I don't eat the kid's homework anymore. I bought a paper shredder.'

'You say your homework was burned up by global warming? Nice try, Timmy.'

'I tried to do my term paper, but the video store doesn't have ANYTHING about the Spanish-American War!'

"The cat told me to eat your homework."

"Pfff, eating homework is nothing! My mum eats the clothes off the clothes line..."

'I suppose you'll use this as an excuse for turning in your homework in late again.'

"I didn't say my dog ate my homework. I said Russian bots ate my homework."

'Truth? I am just looking out the window...'

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

'An essay on what I did last summer? -- I was hoping to let all that stuff blow over.'

"No, nothing wrong. Just a great excuse for not 'noticing' some folks."

"Barlow, it's come to my attention that you've called in, 'Playing Possum' 8 days this month."

My daddy ate my homework

"I was saying a silent prayer, but I must have dozed off and talked in my sleep."

"If I've timed this right, symptoms should start at exactly 9 a.m. Monday."

"We could try 'gravity' as an excuse."

A boy and his spin patrol.

Dreaming of Holidays.

'Something tells me asking him to delay his retirement may be futile.'

'Actually, I haven't done any work for a month due to technical difficulties.'

'I did my homework on my computer and before I could print it, it crashed.'

'The rain must have made our garage shrink...'

'Can't come in to work today. I'm in bed with a nasty bug.'

'It was self-defense - the clock struck first.'

'I was on my way to school, and some drug-crazed hippies took my homework.'

'Three days, four different avoidance routines.'

"Can't do them, sorry. I'm waiting for the paint to dry."

'Okay - is there anybody ElSE whose homework ate their dog?'

"Arithmetic doesn't agree with me."

'An essay on what I did last summer? -- I was hoping to let all that stuff blow over.'

"I dictated my essay to my parrot. Unfortunately, my cat then ate my homework."

"It was my imaginary friend Gravity."

"Yes, Mr. James is in. What excuse would you like to hear for him not seeing you?"

'What about you, Billy? Did some deranged animal burst in during recess and devour your homework too?'

'We're worried about you. Your teacher called and said you're actually handing in your homework instead of eating it.'