Homeownership Dreamer T-Shirts

"Ahh, here it is. . . I new we had it somewhere!"

A car drives past a sign that reads "Welcome to Condoville and the illusion of owning your own property."

'By the time I pay off this mortgage, I'll be ready for a nursing home!'

' I tried to get on to the property ladder.'

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

The Day Dreamer.

'We're quite confident this lull won't last long.'

"Today on Escape to the Country Emily & Oliver are looking for that special little property in the Cotswolds. So what exactly's going to tick all their boxes?"

'We can mortgage your future for a very attractive low interest rate.'

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

'I see a carefree lifestyle by a quiet lake. No, wait, my mistake - looks like I called up the real estate section.'

'Do you have anything right on the beach, but not so near the water?'

Implausible Retirement Housing Options

Turtle Home

'Now that you have a job, Tom, Dad and I are turning your room into a condo!'

'I think you'll all rest easy knowing this is a gated community!'

Affordable housing - Mum and Dads.

"Your dream of a house with a white picket fence is still feasible, at least for the picket fence."

"Admittedly, it is a bit of a 'fixer upper'."

"Occupant, apartment 5C: Congratulations—you may already have won the all-electric Colonial split-level house of your dreams...."

Couple wanting to buy the estate agents office.

The Rudges' peaceful home

"To be honest, we were thinking of something like a Cape Cod."

"Want to put the house on the market so we clean it?"

'Oh, it's perfect, George! And it has termites, too!'

Burying cash. 'You misunderstand when I said put your money in land.'

The housing market begins to deflate.

"It sucks being reincarnated as a snail, but at least I've finally achieved home ownership."

How Will You Spend Your Extra $5 an Hour?

TRUMP

"Five more minutes, I was dreaming our apartment was rent-controlled."

'He's building a yacht in his basement.'

'You're on the very bottom of the 'property ladder'. Or as we estate agents call it; 'the food chain'.'

Americans More Optimistic