Homeowners With A Twist Gifts

'If you promise to never try to open the locked attic door, the owner will take $20,00 off!'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

Painting by the numbers for adults

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

'Grrrr....'

'For Sale by Neighbor'

'Oh look, the tide is coming in.'

Gypsy curses didn't seem so threatening after the Mummy went into the peg business.

"Yes, Madame, Teletubbies."

"The pH level seems a little off."

A cock up of builders

'The Hunt family have solved the problem of the fire ants.'

'This fish looked bored so we installed a rec room below their tank.'

"To be honest, I'd be stupid not to take advantage of the market."

'Hey! By appointment only!!'

'You can't beat the old style security systems!'

"Well, as a matter of fact, no, you didn't tell us you kept exotic pets when you sold us the house!"

'You don't know how lucky you are. My mortgage is worth more than my house.'

"Decaf for me, Peter."

Strip Mine Estates - Mineral Rights? They're All Yours.

'Do we want this one parallel with the floor or the ceiling?'

'If you promise to never try to openthe locked attic door, the owner will take $20,000 off!'

"It was one of the things they kept after selling the ski resort."

"...and I can assure you that our price increases will be more competitive than those of other providers."

'What do you mean, you forgot about the coalmining search?'

'It has to have big living room, he has a sixty inch rock.'

"We have a termite problem."

"Homeowner please help."

'He's building a yacht in his basement.'