Homeowner With A Fly Problem Pillows

"Thanks, but I don't need a fly strip."

Grace For Flies

'I found the termites!'

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

"You wouldn't believe the things I know."

Beware of the Lawn

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

'How long did you try before calling?'

'No, we did not order a corner unit.'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

'Do we want this one parallel with the floor or the ceiling?'

Irritable gentleman disturbed by a bluebottle

'Hello, is that Dugdame and Son's, the plumber?'

"My home insurance has dropped since I had it installed."

'Dave. Did you call anyone from pest control?'

'At home with the blue-arsed flies 2009.'

'Darling - look! I've dropped a gene size already.'

'What an AMAZING display!'

Junk Mail Shredder.

'Problems finding good, affordable housing?'

'So there's a fly in your beer — why begrudge a fellow creature a little happiness?'

"Oddly enough, I could never work in a cubicle."

Avoiding A Mouse Problem

"I decided to buy a tiny house."

A women is testing her House to see if it's Pregnant with a 'Home Pregnancy Test' kit

'YOU HAVE MADE A POWERFUL ENEMY!'

"Here's one. Swatter or flypaper?"

'Good evening sir,I'm doing a survey on home security.'

'For Diahrrea in hogs? Well, first of all, I'd feed bland garbage!'

'I fell in a bowl of soup yesterday, but luckily, I didn't get burnt: It was a Gazpacho...'

Harold...your human is open.

'We don't have a dog but we felt a need to offer a warning anyway.'