Homemade Gift Maker Pillows

Gift Ideas #13

Rocking horse

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

Wait - If this is a big bag of toys, where's the big bag of dirty laundry? Worst Christmas morning ever.

'A few years ago all we needed were some people who could hammer and some people who could paint.'

'The Easter Bunny has started outsourcing to us.'

'I take back everything I said about this sweater you knitted for me.'

The Authentic Christmas.

"For the last time… do not feed bubble gum to the reindeer!"

"I like it here but if Santa doesn't get better WiFi I'm getting a new job."

'I need to get away and unwind!'

"I wasn't ho-ho-ho'ing at you, I was ho-ho-ho'ing with you."

Arabian island

Make your own bottled water.

'I'm telling you, I don't have a good feeling about this.'

'I'm knitting you sweater... do you want it too big or too small?'

"I heard that Santa's cutting out the 30% employee discount on toys."

During a respite in union negotiations, simmering tensions boil over as some disgruntled members of the toymakers elf union take matters in their own hands.

"Gladys, look! My kids made me a card for Mother's Day!"

'As I understand it, he has a whole other workshop in Hong Kong where they make all that electronic stuff.'

Poorly planned Chanukah crafts

'I wrapped it myself !'

I got some cauliflower for his brain, master.

"Santa's favorites always end up in the gift card workshop."

"No the you shop noise doesn't bother me. This protects me from the incessant Christmas music."

Santa's Workshop. Ernie runs that sanding machind here. He says that makes him a "smooth operator."

My latest invention -- "The Comedy Club".

One of Santa's elves is crushed to death by a present in the workshop, ruining the 364 days of 'Elf and Safety'.

'I'm knitting a cozy for the house.'

'I'm facing unemployment! The world is running out of nice kids!'

'I thought you said you did ships in bottles.'

"I put the whole thing together with my mom’s health care statements – pretty scary, huh?"

Duracell bunny joins marching drummers

'I think the home made wine is a little on the sharp-side...!'

"For the last time, Dad, I don't want to be a dentist! I want to make toys like the other elves."