Homebody With Humor Pillows

'It's time to move out when Mom says...'

"We're just a stone's throw from everything."

"This love seat stinks!"

'No Trespissing'

'I've relaxed, put my feet up - Now, where's that good book you promised me?'

The bulb family leaves for vacation

Dear, you'd better call the super. There's a light bulb out in my man cave.

"I was supposed to rinse them first? So, you're telling me somebody designed a machine to wash dishes, but we're supposed to make sure we wash the dishes before we put them in the machine?"

"I think you've spent too much time in the garden during the lockdown."

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

"I see you've security marked your property."

'She'll never look for me here.'

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

It's Your Turn to Do the Dishes Tonight!

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

'What about you...you've been living here thirty years too?'

Man fishing in goldfish bowl - "Its always been the same with you Norman.. No ambition."

'Home is where I hang my bat.'

"There goes our early night."

"I'd hold off on the peking duck another five minutes...the show's almost over."

"Just the slippers is fine!"

Amy Sedaris

The Drawbacks Of Working From Home

"You're back. Hold on … just give me a minute."

"Darling! We've become armchair socialites."

"It's days like this that make me glad I became a teacher."

"5...4...3...2..."

"I'm upstairs right now. On weekends and holidays, I go downstairs."

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

"No religious nuts!"

"10,000 steps...just answering doorbells."

Suburban street.

"Look what I bought to encourage visitors to go home early."