Homebody Humor Lover Pillows

'Don't just stand there-use the remote and switch over!'

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

'She'll never look for me here.'

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

'It's time to move out when Mom says...'

It's Your Turn to Do the Dishes Tonight!

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

'What about you...you've been living here thirty years too?'

Man fishing in goldfish bowl - "Its always been the same with you Norman.. No ambition."

"There goes our early night."

"I'd hold off on the peking duck another five minutes...the show's almost over."

"Just the slippers is fine!"

Amy Sedaris

The Drawbacks Of Working From Home

"You're back. Hold on … just give me a minute."

"5...4...3...2..."

"Darling! We've become armchair socialites."

"I'm upstairs right now. On weekends and holidays, I go downstairs."

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

"Look what I bought to encourage visitors to go home early."

Suburban street.

"10,000 steps...just answering doorbells."

'That's a full ten minutes with the TV off. What now?'

The bulb family leaves for vacation

"Jim was a model Dad".

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

"That's it sorted then - this year we'll spend a fortnight in the spare bedroom."

"I was supposed to rinse them first? So, you're telling me somebody designed a machine to wash dishes, but we're supposed to make sure we wash the dishes before we put them in the machine?"

"No religious nuts!"

'This fridge is fitted with CCTV.'

"Good grief, Bradbury! How long have you been working at home?"