Homebody Humor Seeker Pillows

'That's a full ten minutes with the TV off. What now?'

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

'She'll never look for me here.'

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

'It's time to move out when Mom says...'

It's Your Turn to Do the Dishes Tonight!

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

'What about you...you've been living here thirty years too?'

Man fishing in goldfish bowl - "Its always been the same with you Norman.. No ambition."

"I'd hold off on the peking duck another five minutes...the show's almost over."

Amy Sedaris

"There goes our early night."

We never roam anymore.

Couch and Potato

"Just the slippers is fine!"

I haven't been down there since last Valentine's day. I want to check on a couple who asked me to rekindle their romance. A year ago I told them that thanks to me they'd be spending more time together and less time at their offices. I said I'd make it so they'd have lots of nights at home ordering some take-out and watching a movie. They must be very happy with me. All I did was shoot an arrow of love, but apparently they think I caused some sort of pandemic to happen!

The Drawbacks Of Working From Home

"5...4...3...2..."

'He's strictly an indoor cat.'

"This lockdown is GREAT! - We can spend all day on our computers, eating takeaway junk food and watching crap TV while gambling on our iphones!"

"You're back. Hold on … just give me a minute."

"Darling! We've become armchair socialites."

"Arthur, the bird's gone and done it again."

"I'm upstairs right now. On weekends and holidays, I go downstairs."

And so Bob's folks sent him off into the world. But not before running a few last tests, just to be sure he could handle it.

"10,000 steps...just answering doorbells."

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

Suburban street.

"Jim was a model Dad".

"Look what I bought to encourage visitors to go home early."

The bulb family leaves for vacation

"That's it sorted then - this year we'll spend a fortnight in the spare bedroom."

"I was supposed to rinse them first? So, you're telling me somebody designed a machine to wash dishes, but we're supposed to make sure we wash the dishes before we put them in the machine?"

"No religious nuts!"

The New Business Power Suit