Homebody With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

"This is the main house, plus there's a cottage on the property where your Lyft driver would live."

"We've got litter boxes, people have toilets - but they get the whole world."

"My husband is my best friend...I've got to get out more often!"

'Yes dear, I was in a hurry to get home, why?'

'He's strictly an indoor cat.'

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

"After a long day or remote work, it feels great to change into something less comfortable."

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'

"I see you've security marked your property."

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

'She'll never look for me here.'

'It's time to move out when Mom says...'

It's Your Turn to Do the Dishes Tonight!

"How do we break it to them that work-from-home ends next week?"

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

'What about you...you've been living here thirty years too?'

'Brian's saved us a small fortune...making all our own furniture!'

Man fishing in goldfish bowl - "Its always been the same with you Norman.. No ambition."

"There goes our early night."

'Home is where I hang my bat.'

Amy Sedaris

"I'd hold off on the peking duck another five minutes...the show's almost over."

"Just the slippers is fine!"

I haven't been down there since last Valentine's day. I want to check on a couple who asked me to rekindle their romance. A year ago I told them that thanks to me they'd be spending more time together and less time at their offices. I said I'd make it so they'd have lots of nights at home ordering some take-out and watching a movie. They must be very happy with me. All I did was shoot an arrow of love, but apparently they think I caused some sort of pandemic to happen!

We never roam anymore.

The Drawbacks Of Working From Home

"You're back. Hold on … just give me a minute."

"5...4...3...2..."

"Darling! We've become armchair socialites."

"It's days like this that make me glad I became a teacher."

"This lockdown is GREAT! - We can spend all day on our computers, eating takeaway junk food and watching crap TV while gambling on our iphones!"

"I'm upstairs right now. On weekends and holidays, I go downstairs."