Home Video Star Gifts

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

'Dad, would you ming standing up, then accidentally tripping on the dog and falling flat on your face? I'll try to get it in one shot.'

The team video didn't spotlight my talents. I've hired my own film crew. They'll showcase my skills so college recruiters can see my strengths. Wow! How can the director pack so much into one little video? Great point! Daddy? Tell Steven Spielberg we're going feature length. Nice save!

"My favourite movie is Mrs Fire, without doubt."

"WOW...this 50.1 theatre sound system makes you feel you're actually in the movie!"

'What do you mean, 'pass the remote control'?... We're at the cinema!'

"That explains all the cavities."

"Great idea. Movies are so much better on the big screen."

"See, Honey, I told you that TV would fit in this room!"

'Better buy one now - before they make them too big to fit into your house.'

'I hope this DVD has some worthwhile in-front-of-the-scenes content.'

STRIP Hambone: Computer addict

'Drive-ins are so expensive...this is much better than a drive in.'

Widescreen TV.

'Okay, this is the scene where the bear becomes a parachute.'

"After viewing the video footage, it wasn't the dog making the mess, after all..."

'We won't be needing a kitchen now we can afford take away every night.'

That was scary! When I opened the closet, all my family movies, tapes and DVDs tumbled down on me! Your entire life passed before your eyes!

The Marie Kondo landfill

"It's another one of our neighbors calling to complain. I think your sound bar may be working a little too well."

"I'd appreciate it if you'd wait until school to do that. We've worked long and hard to bring you state-of-the-art home theater."

'We do have kids but we're actually looking for something bigger for our big screen TV.'

They all have such big nostrils.

Postman has mail order DVD. Door has two letterboxes: standard and widescreen

'I miss the days when the only thing I couldn't work was the video.'

"Wow, this comedy channel really is hi-def."

'The following video contains scenes of swearing and violence' - Family holiday

"Officer, my husband went back there last night to hook up a DVR... and I haven't seen him since!"

"It's bad enough seeing his vacation movies - he's gotta charge admission!"

"I bought an old screen from a movie theater for our entertainment room. Getting it in the door and down the stairs may be a challenge."

Christmas Party Video 3

'What DID people do before trying to set-up Home Entertainment Systems?'

'It's a program on conserving energy.'

'Don't just stand there...get the camcorder!'

"He's considered a fixture, so he's included with the house."