Home Sale Strategist Pillows

'Empty-nesters. They're hoping to sell before the flock tries to move back in.'

'Good point. It's been on the market far too long. I'll change the picture. I shouldn't be smiling.'

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

"Jill Hamster's entrepreneurial disaster"

Water is discovered on the moon....

Sales.

'We have to go global since nobody around here will buy our product.'

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

"Did you get my e-mail about who takes out the trash today?"

Gerald Ratner's return

Sales Chart: Boomerangs LTD

'Can we call a realtor now?!'

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

Competitior Sales - "Now I come to the feel good factor"

'One thing is certain. It's not just a seasonal slump.'

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

"At bonus time, just don't forget where you get your intellectual property."

'If you don't pay us, I'll tell all your creditors you have.'

'Hank here brings 10 years of top sales experience to our company so let's all try to make him feel welcome while he makes you all look bad...'

"Today we welcome back an old friend."

'Did you auction off our house on eBay?'

Entertainment systems

Mouse real estate!

Sinking sales

"Okay, let me come at this question a different way: Does anybody here actually know how to sell anything?"

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"I suppose that's what happens when 'putting customers first' comes second!"

'Our sales have been uneven but our company has heart.'

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

Sales - We could try a 'free offer' but it would cost us.

'I know it's the truth, but on this promo for our site, do you think we should use the promo code 'desperation?''