Home Seller's Therapist Pillows

A real estate agent seeks help.

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

'Can we call a realtor now?!'

'Is the fire included?'

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

Categories are the key to organizing.

'I need to tell Edgar...our house sold for a million two.'

Stan believes in calling a spade a spade.

Woman impulsively buying a book about how to stop impulse buying.

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

"And the bathroom has a water view...if you fill the tub."

See the house whose property taxes were raised

"I know the schools are great, but is this really the house we want to ride out the apocalypse in?"

'I sold my house and got what I paid for it. But you bought it in 1962.'

'There are no skeletons in the closets but you might have a bit of trouble with those in the back yard.'

"I think they're trying to tell us we've stayed to long."

'Our house is being staged. Dad says we've got a good shot at getting in - if we can pass the audition.'

'Due to a slight technical mistake, I sold your house to me for £2.50.'

The Movers Strip - Coffee table reading

A Wholly Owned Subsidiary of Uncle Sam.

'I'm positive that 'Open House' sign pointed to next door.'

Real estate salesman.

'Empty-nesters. They're hoping to sell before the flock tries to move back in.'

I'm afraid your loan will be stuck in underwriting until you've each had a full panic attack.'

Sign reads - For Sale Still Under A Million.

"I want a reverse mortgage. Take me back to when I didn't have one."

Affordable homes coming soon - 'If they build these then our house will become affordable...!'

'Are you sure now is the best time to buy an inflatable house?'

'Well it was here yesterday... the owner might of taken it down for security reasons'

"It might have been smart to inquire about the tides before buying this seaside place"

'I flatly refuse to give him fringe benefits before dinner!'

I sold my house and my landlord's furious!

'Not only can we build it for the same price as any other gingerbread house.. but we can do it for 40 LESS CARBS!'

'Good point. It's been on the market far too long. I'll change the picture. I shouldn't be smiling.'