Home Safety Awareness Promoter Pillows

"Peter quickly learns the limitations of his new hamster ball."

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

"Okay, what's your next, more expensive security system?"

Just Another Sloe News Day

"Do screen doors just keep insects out, or other things too?"

'Throw it out. . . we never use it, unless you can think of someone that might need it.'

"We've completely child-proofed our home."

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

Man carrying crates of eggs about to step on sleeping dog.

Santa hosing the Chimney.

'You can't beat the old style security systems!'

'Goodnight honey... did you remember to unplug the baby?'

"Let's pick up our cars now, 'kay Puddin'?"

'New normal' family life

'I know the fire's in the kitchen, but that program just irks the hell out of me.'

"Maybe this is insignificant, what with everything going on in the world, but do we have a fire extinguisher?"

'You said to call back if the gas problem got worse.'

'I lost him in the house, but don't worry, a snake that big should be easy to find.'

'Well those stair gates were a complete waste of money'

"Knock! Knock! Who's there? What, seriously? You mean you haven't installed personal security cameras?"

'I told you he was smart. He turned a potential hazard into a plaything.'

"Try to open Grampy's chair a little slower next time, puddin'."

"Did we turn off the stove?"

"They're only dummy home security signs, but I've sharped the edges so they'll cut you like a razor."

'Is your house baby-proofed?'

"Honey, your radon testing kit is here."

"Which area of the house is the most dangerous? A. Your wet bathroom, B. Your dirty kitchen, or C. Your cluttered garage?"

"First, locate the pin on your extinguisher..."

'It doesn't get nearly enough sun here, but it sure keeps the kids from sliding down the bannister.'

'If it weren't for baseball, this whole thing could have ended much differently.'

"Dad went back in to get the smoke alarm and the receipt."

"We have so many security cameras, the doormat says 'Say cheese' instead of welcome."

Little Did She Know