Home Routines T-Shirts

Day 27 of self-isolation and the initial burst of enthusiasm to 'get things done' had swindled to nothing.

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

Late night teddy reading

'That was fun!'

When laundry ruled the waves.

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

Back to work...

Future garbage truck driver.

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

"Drunk, yet orderly"

Sleepwalker on treadmill

"My favorite way to start the day...coffee, danish, and a data dump."

Bird Tweet.

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

When Shakespeare gets up early, on the wrong side of the bed of a stranger, and in a clown suit... Later that same day, he will commence work on 'The Comedy of Errors.'"

Fear of news.

'Ahhhh?I love the smell of a staff meeting in the morning!'

Tired Barbie

"Don't pretend you're sleeping."

Have you got your make up on yet?

French Early Bird

Alarmistclock

Toothbrush Romance

"Great coffee, Carole."

'Everything is automatic. The coffee turns on at 7:00...They go to work at 7:25 and we go up and get in their bed.'

'Would you like a push Dear?'

1,572 Performances.

"Lemme guess: You're struggling with the French press again."

'So how do you manage such a close shave?' 'Simple,i wait till the very last second.'

So Far So Good

Business man sees himself as a shark

"Hold on... did you mean to hit Snooze or Jazz?"

"Hoora! I made it through another day!"

Futile Little Snow Shoveler Guy Snow Globe