Family Routines T-Shirts

'This is confidential, Mom. Do you mind?'

"Finish your breakfast, honey, and then we'll go drop Daddy off at jail."

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

'That was fun!'

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

'Don't look at me. I'm not the one who puts the measuring cups where I can't reach them.'

Back to work...

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

Future garbage truck driver.

Child about to jump off ironing board into bath.

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

"You keep impeccable time."

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"My favorite way to start the day...coffee, danish, and a data dump."

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

'Heavy seas tonight, Mom...'

When Shakespeare gets up early, on the wrong side of the bed of a stranger, and in a clown suit... Later that same day, he will commence work on 'The Comedy of Errors.'"

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

Happy Turkey Day!

"What are you kids going to be for Halloween?"

A family with mustaches talking on their cellphones.

Kids ask repetitively: 'Is the recession over yet?'

"Entering Minivan Territory: Healthy Snacks Strictly Enforced

A Mix Up Between the Buggy and Lawn Mower.

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

A child interrupting family prayers

"It's his emotional support animal."

"Make a sandcastle with you? Of course darling. What about Thursday 3.15pm?"

Fear of news.