Domestic Routine T-Shirts

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

'That was fun!'

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

When laundry ruled the waves.

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

Back to work...

Future garbage truck driver.

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

Kitchen Tetris

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"My favorite way to start the day...coffee, danish, and a data dump."

Neighbor Leaf Wars

"Drunk, yet orderly"

When Shakespeare gets up early, on the wrong side of the bed of a stranger, and in a clown suit... Later that same day, he will commence work on 'The Comedy of Errors.'"

Fear of news.

Woman simutaneously playing the cello and washing man in bath's back

'Ahhhh?I love the smell of a staff meeting in the morning!'

Tired Barbie

Toothbrush Romance

"Great coffee, Carole."

French Early Bird

Alarmistclock

Have you got your make up on yet?

'Would you like a push Dear?'

"For God's sake, Lucille. We're IN a vacuum."

"You get back here this minute, young man! You're not going anywhere until you clean your room!"

1,572 Performances.

Business man sees himself as a shark

"Lemme guess: You're struggling with the French press again."

So Far So Good

Pest Control