Family Routines Pillows

'This is confidential, Mom. Do you mind?'

"Finish your breakfast, honey, and then we'll go drop Daddy off at jail."

Your showers are way too long, Twig. You should try taking a shower. Unlike you, I refrain from wasting our precious supply of clean water. Oh? Sniff. Clean air is important too, you know.

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

'That was fun!'

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

'Don't look at me. I'm not the one who puts the measuring cups where I can't reach them.'

The Family Joules: Part 16

Back to work...

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

Child about to jump off ironing board into bath.

Future garbage truck driver.

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

"My favorite way to start the day...coffee, danish, and a data dump."

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

Bird Tweet.

'Heavy seas tonight, Mom...'

"You keep impeccable time."

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

When Shakespeare gets up early, on the wrong side of the bed of a stranger, and in a clown suit... Later that same day, he will commence work on 'The Comedy of Errors.'"

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"It's his emotional support animal."

"Entering Minivan Territory: Healthy Snacks Strictly Enforced

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

Happy Turkey Day!

A family with mustaches talking on their cellphones.

A Mix Up Between the Buggy and Lawn Mower.

"What are you kids going to be for Halloween?"

A child interrupting family prayers