Home Routines Gifts

Day 27 of self-isolation and the initial burst of enthusiasm to 'get things done' had swindled to nothing.

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

'That was fun!'

Late night teddy reading

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

When laundry ruled the waves.

Back to work...

Future garbage truck driver.

Sleepwalker on treadmill

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"My favorite way to start the day...coffee, danish, and a data dump."

"Drunk, yet orderly"

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

When Shakespeare gets up early, on the wrong side of the bed of a stranger, and in a clown suit... Later that same day, he will commence work on 'The Comedy of Errors.'"

Fear of news.

'Ahhhh?I love the smell of a staff meeting in the morning!'

Tired Barbie

French Early Bird

"Great coffee, Carole."

Alarmistclock

Have you got your make up on yet?

"Don't pretend you're sleeping."

Toothbrush Romance

'Everything is automatic. The coffee turns on at 7:00...They go to work at 7:25 and we go up and get in their bed.'

'Would you like a push Dear?'

"Lemme guess: You're struggling with the French press again."

1,572 Performances.

"Hoora! I made it through another day!"

Futile Little Snow Shoveler Guy Snow Globe

Business man sees himself as a shark

"Hold on... did you mean to hit Snooze or Jazz?"

So Far So Good

'So how do you manage such a close shave?' 'Simple,i wait till the very last second.'

Employee attending a breakfast meeting in his pyjamas.