Home Repair Technician Gifts

'When you're done fixing the furnace, could you gather up these Demons From Hell that escaped?'

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

"See this area right here, honey? This is why we need to find someone who knows what they're doing."

Do-It-Yourself. Do-it-yourself-With-Good-Friends-and-Pizza-and-A-Few-Beers.

"It's just temporary, until I fix the air conditioner."

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

'Fixed the leg on the telly yet?'

"Want to impress me with that hammer? Try using it to fix a few things around here."

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

"The white flag means he gives up and will finally hire a professional to finish the renovation."

'Well, that's fixed that.'

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

"Sure, it's a break you can live with... but screw one more socket and you're toast!"

"Dad! The bathroom pipes are clogged up!"

Lazy plumber.

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

Bob’s Museum

'Don't you think it's time you did something about the draught in here?'

Computer operator welding machine.

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of dealing with emergency plumbing problems are the hardest.'

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

'Certainly. Here's the break-down. Seventy-five dollars for my labour. And seventy-five dollars for you impersonating a plumber.'

"The blow drier is broken."

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

"I thought you were out front telling the fence company how to do their job."

"Was it a fuse?"

'Your plasma screen TV needs a transfusion.'