Home Polling Humor Gifts

'In case you're interested, your approval rating around here has slipped to a scant 23%.'

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

"And remember, woman... I'm the one who wears the sassy pastel yellow toreador pants in the family!"

"All other letters have been disallowed."

"Do you think Trump has read 'Contemporary Relativism and the Death of Meaning'?"

The Art of Misdirection

It's the same ingredients and aftertaste as stimulus 1..."

"Here's my idea. . . we offer Trump the Nobel Peace Prize as a quid pro quo for leaving office."

'The popularity polls love what you've done with the budget deficit....moving the decimal one point to the left.'

War of Words

"Bad news - the local sewage plant is made of reinforced autoclaved aerated concrete."

'The attack will have to wait until tomorrow Congressman. Today is furlough day. . .'

"You mean to tell me I can only vote against one Congressman?"

"I figure if I don't have that third martini, then the terrorists win."

'I'm really thirsty.'

CartoonStock Upload

'I just had the greatest idea! -- Let's deregulate ourselves!'

"Are you sure that this is the correct dress for a political event?"

Clown has hit wife with custard pie. Marriage guidance counsellor says: 'Does he end every argument like this?'

Simplified Tax Plans

"Wake up, it's Spring and we forgot to vote!"

Trump's Speechwriters

Brexit Trip

RIP: Here lies the last remains of civility and honesty in the political process.

'They expect us to vote cold sober?'

'You've got to help me, Doc - I'm a swing voter!'

"Nap time for the senate babies"

'. . . But where's the beef?'

Citizenship test no 17, 'the t-shirt over head'.

"51st State, eh?!"