Election Humor Gifts

"Silly me...! I still can't seem to make up my mind..."

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

A Q&A with President Obama over jobs

Reagacentennial

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

'His idea of campaign finance reform is insisting on small bills.'

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

"Hell, George - they even miss ME!"

'In a surprise move, Greece decided to peg its currency against the Baklava.'

New York Corruption - Auditor Watson's Death, and Suspicions on Broadway Works Project

'Hi. Due to the regulation fervor, I'm one of the clowns from Washington here to tell you how to run your business.'

Prostate: 51st State

Vladimir Putin Pulling Trump Across The Table By His Tie

'Steve says that he doesn't understand why the liberals are so glum! They already have a majority.'

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

Donald Trump Tells a Joke...

Totalitarian Humour

'That's correct Shaun. The government is comprised of 5 branches...the executive, legislative, judicial, lobbyist and media.'

"Do you think Trump has read 'Contemporary Relativism and the Death of Meaning'?"

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

The Dangers of Corporate Personhood

"How is it in Russia?"

"All other letters have been disallowed."

'Poor Americans...If this includes intellectual torture, they'll have to cancel 70 of their Hollywood productions...' (Caption may be modified.)

"Ok, ok, climate change is not a hoax!"

"This swamp is much too beautiful to drain.".

"And, if elected, I promise to put more black people in cartoons."

"Worst budget cuts ever!"

Patrick Hendy Rodham Clinton

What Could Go Wrong?

'Sure, but think what a crook I'd be without hypocrisy!'

'Verily, Noah, the flood I am about to unleash is retribution for Tory defections to UKIP!'