Election Season Humorists Gifts

It's the season for political candidates to deliver their pitch to voters. Sometimes the pitch is like a fastball, direct and to the point. Or the pitch might be like a curve, starting off on one path and then going in a different direction. Voters might see a pitch like a changeup, something completely unexpected. Unfortunately, too often the candidate's pitch is like a knuckleball - it just seems to be erratic and nonsensical!

'Due to government surveillance, is my allowance taxable?'

"...No it does state here quite clearly...the right to bear arms...not arm bears."

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

Why should I take you home instead of your friend? (Republican and Democrat).

The White House: Some Assembly Required.

"Do you think Trump has read 'Contemporary Relativism and the Death of Meaning'?"

It's the same ingredients and aftertaste as stimulus 1..."

Thwarting the Boys from Brazil

'...and as a consequence, you lot all redundant. I'm not making it up.'

'The popularity polls love what you've done with the budget deficit....moving the decimal one point to the left.'

OVERPOPULATION CRISIS LOOMS!, 'If the Government really wanted zero population growth, they'd turn the problem over to the Pentagon.'

Stay the Course.

"Bad news - the local sewage plant is made of reinforced autoclaved aerated concrete."

War of Words

'This is just a thought, but is there any way we could tax OTHER countries?'

'The trouble with electing a man on horseback is that somebody has to clean up after him.'

RIP: Here lies the last remains of civility and honesty in the political process.

"Quit saying 'President Trump'. You're spookin' the horses."

"Wake up, it's Spring and we forgot to vote!"

'They expect us to vote cold sober?'

'You've got to help me, Doc - I'm a swing voter!'

'Really, a foreign wine? What will the NSA think?'

Good Christians should be willing to die for President Trump."

'Pander to voters? Me?'

England's jester - United States' jester.

'Look out, he has a gun!'

"If memory serves, the alternative to being a McGovern-nik was being a Nixon-nik."

Conflicted Chief

Thoughts that never cross Trump's mind. . .

"I wonder if Congress has any openings."

Trump the Shepherdess

'And I suppose YOU'VE never started an unnecessary war!'

"Give me moderation or give me death!"

'This is a really low budget approach to stopping illegal immigration.'