Election Humor Fan Gifts

'It was hard so many of them, one I think was selling British kippers, I don't like them too greasy and the repeat on me. In the end I voted for the nice man on the door, he had kind eyes.'

Vpotus flyotus

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

A Q&A with President Obama over jobs

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

'His idea of campaign finance reform is insisting on small bills.'

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

'General, please hire large armies of foreign mercenaries to complete the works of death, desolation and tyranny.'

"Hell, George - they even miss ME!"

'In a surprise move, Greece decided to peg its currency against the Baklava.'

"Rescue...we've come to join you."

New York Corruption - Auditor Watson's Death, and Suspicions on Broadway Works Project

'Hi. Due to the regulation fervor, I'm one of the clowns from Washington here to tell you how to run your business.'

"What do you mean blood sucking pest? You're the one who invited me into your life!"

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

'Steve says that he doesn't understand why the liberals are so glum! They already have a majority.'

Donald Trump Tells a Joke...

Vladimir Putin Pulling Trump Across The Table By His Tie

Totalitarian Humour

'That's correct Shaun. The government is comprised of 5 branches...the executive, legislative, judicial, lobbyist and media.'

"Ok, ok, climate change is not a hoax!"

"How is it in Russia?"

"Do you think Trump has read 'Contemporary Relativism and the Death of Meaning'?"

'Poor Americans...If this includes intellectual torture, they'll have to cancel 70 of their Hollywood productions...' (Caption may be modified.)

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

"All other letters have been disallowed."

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

"Sire, they also want dental."

"And, if elected, I promise to put more black people in cartoons."

"This swamp is much too beautiful to drain.".

'It's the consistently defininative obscure obviation coupled with absolute commitment to incomprehensible policy objectives that I find appealing.

'Verily, Noah, the flood I am about to unleash is retribution for Tory defections to UKIP!'

"Worst budget cuts ever!"