Home Organization Hero Pillows

'I used to wrap the couch in plastic, but this is better.'

Jack of all trades

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

Interior design trends for parents....

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

Politicians' basements (as seen on TV)

'I found the termites!'

'You'll be happy to see that I've finally managed to turn things around.'

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

I did it my way.

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

'Calling Tech Support does NOT count as one of my wishes!'

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

'Is there any chance at all I could get you to stop leaving your pantyhouse laying around?!'

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

A man is living in small box apartment trying to read a book, but is surrounded by people engaging in noisy activities.

Fittd shēt

"Ron didn't realise he was so popular."

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

"By labeling it, I control it."

Man suffering from rope burn due to climbing the corporate ladder

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

Work Slave

"The boss is charging. I knew you shouldn't have worn that red tie."