Home Mechanics Gifts

'My husband thought he could save money by repairing it himself.'

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

Yardless: Please help

Man using to much bug spray

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

"See this area right here, honey? This is why we need to find someone who knows what they're doing."

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

Do-It-Yourself. Do-it-yourself-With-Good-Friends-and-Pizza-and-A-Few-Beers.

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

Ernie likes to fix things around the house. Just today he's fixed two sandwiches, three sundaes, and some microwave brownies.

"Want to impress me with that hammer? Try using it to fix a few things around here."

"The trees are laughing at us."

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

"The white flag means he gives up and will finally hire a professional to finish the renovation."

'Well, that's fixed that.'

The household cavalry

Fixing the TV.

"Sure, it's a break you can live with... but screw one more socket and you're toast!"

"Dad! The bathroom pipes are clogged up!"

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

Timber preservation

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

'Don't you think it's time you did something about the draught in here?'

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of dealing with emergency plumbing problems are the hardest.'