Home Improvement Lover Pillows

"Well, enough of this chatting. I expect your husband has finished fitting your new blind by now."

"I'm getting out of gold and going into porches."

"What ever happened with that old shack you bought in the woods? You were going to rehab and flip it."

"For only five dollars more, the guy let me have the 'Smart Hammer.'"

'. . . as shelves go it's okay - but I like to feel that my best work is ahead of me!'

'Uh...which part of 'perfect' don't you understand?'

Handyman Christmas tree with Tools.

Jack of all trades

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

'I found the termites!'

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

I did it my way.

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

Schubert's Unfinished Basement

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

A DIY disaster.

Do-It-Yourself. Do-it-yourself-With-Good-Friends-and-Pizza-and-A-Few-Beers.

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

"It's just temporary, until I fix the air conditioner."

"So, how's the money pit in the kitchen coming?"

"Next time don't use a herbed vinegar."

"Have you been using 'Vanish' again?"

"...And this is the part where he veers off course from the YouTube tutorial."

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

"Want to impress me with that hammer? Try using it to fix a few things around here."

"The white flag means he gives up and will finally hire a professional to finish the renovation."