Home Improvement Junkie Pillows

"When we remodeled, we decided to go with the granite countertop."

Beaver looking at sticks to make dam - Some Assembly Required

'We can't get enough of these makeover shows.'

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

Schubert's Unfinished Basement

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

A DIY disaster.

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

"Mulch madness"

"The white flag means he gives up and will finally hire a professional to finish the renovation."

Your Home Remodel Team

'I'm counter - intelligence'

"It's a miracle I was able to build this desk all by myself. I'm not so handy."

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

Bob’s Museum

'Have you got one of those things you use to knock nails in...?'

"This condo includes free access to fitness facilities...7 flights of stairs."

'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

Wallpapering with Nails

Handyman Christmas tree with Tools.

"When we remodeled, we decided to go with the granite countertop."

"I thought you were out front telling the fence company how to do their job."

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

"Okay, I fixed the leaking roof, and I moved the couch over to the far wall, but I'm sorry, I don't unblock toilets!"

'Old mother hubbard -- your cupboard is now bare.'

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

"They've got insulation to die for!"

"Can't we just get some load-bearing wallpaper?"