Home Improvement Adventurer Pillows

"Does it have a chapter on using the phone to call someone who can do it right?"

'It's the fellow in 9B.'

'It's going to be all right, sir. Just slow down and tell me how long you've been lost.'

Valerie began to suspect that Brian hadn't laid a carpet before.

"...And this is the part where he veers off course from the YouTube tutorial."

"Yeah, well, then you should've said merchandise or maybe contents sale, right?"

'I didn't authorize any remodeling work.'

Please Help: I lost my fortune in a kitchen renovation project.

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

Schubert's Unfinished Basement

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

"Too bright."

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

Captain steering house through flood.

A DIY disaster.

"Harold insists on doing all his own stunts."

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

"It's a major fixer-upper. How's your marriage?"

"The white flag means he gives up and will finally hire a professional to finish the renovation."

Your Home Remodel Team

Child writes letter to Santa reading 'Sorry Santa, I DO want to go to school'.

"It's a miracle I was able to build this desk all by myself. I'm not so handy."

Bob’s Museum

'Have you got one of those things you use to knock nails in...?'

'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

Wallpapering with Nails

"When we remodeled, we decided to go with the granite countertop."

Handyman Christmas tree with Tools.

'Old mother hubbard -- your cupboard is now bare.'

"I thought you were out front telling the fence company how to do their job."

"Can't we just get some load-bearing wallpaper?"

"They've got insulation to die for!"