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Practical Gifts of the Magi

Haircuts

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

"I have an imaginary friend called Fred, and my dad has one called Alexa."

Check your universal remote control at the door.

Mouse in a hamster wheel.

'In my time, we didn't talk to a blackberry. We just ate the damn things!'

"Careful. That house has a taser."

'Mom! This high resolution screen makes it seem like you're really outdoors!'

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

'You know, you can do this all online now.'

'It's one of our new technology rings, it allows you to download karats.'

'But I don't want to be able to turn on the toaster with the TV remote!'

"We've got the same ringtone!" (Two guys opening ring pull drinks cans).

Having moved to a tablet, the farmer's wife was done with mice. . .

An alternative theory as to why dinosaurs are extinct.

"And this latest robot vacuum can fetch a glass of wine while it cleans your floors!"

"Their technological toys are nothing compared to the power of the supply side."

"Two questions: What time are the guests arriving, and do you still want me to slice the pepperoni?"

Baby cries into a cellphone.

'Dear sir, thank you for your idea of a helicopter ejection-seat, but...'

He'll be fine after you reboot him, I've replaced his memory stick.

"Alexa...order my shopping!"

'Why pay the airline $7.00 for a beer, when I can get a drone to deliver 6 for the same price?'

"We should probably talk about the elephant in the Roomba."

'Like it? It's my digital vest, it calculates calories, portions and price per pound!'

"Do screen doors just keep insects out, or other things too?"

Crystal Ball Plug

"I don't care if it does have wifi. . . it's a vegetable peeler!"

Meanwhile back at the pond 'Wow... nice pad man!'

'Ned thinks the inventor of the vibrating easychair should get the Nobel prize for science.'

'So you just dry stuff? That's cool, I guess. I mean, it's not like there's some mystical force that could do that for you, like, I don't know... evaporation.'

"After buying his 698th mobile device, his wife had him committed."

Man Watches Live Feed of his Aquarium on Television

How the cords get all tangles up when you're away.