Home Field Advantage Seeker Pillows

"Play Ball!"

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

'Maybe we should sign him before the MVP award is announced.'

Punishment for the kicker.

'Since the playing field was sold off we've become a centre of excellence for one-a-side football.'

Clandestine cows.

Indoor Football

'It's only four acres but we're glad we bought it - he's always wanted to be an expert in his own field.'

"Brutus! Attack with reasonable force!"

'How long did you try before calling?'

Fan-Centric Stadium

Arch of Triumph Save

"Something's trying to get through the Astroturf!"

'Big advantage!!'

Ref shows footballer green card.

Striker Aims for the Wrong Goal

"Bloody cold-callers - I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind. . .!!"

"As fans we are smart enough to understand the game, but not smart enough to realize how unimportant it really is."

'I hear a burglar downstairs, the poor fool.'

'I hired a local guide. He knows every square inch of this stadium...'

'Hurry, hurry! What's he saying?'

"Your grass looks great."

Just sitting here kicking field goals (smiley face emoji)

Man with fly swat - Let the games begin.

Effective farming.

"My husband has a thing about double glazing salesmen."

'Everything else was sold out. Stop whining about the end zone seats.'

What are the chances?

Javelin

Football fan

"If only he made goals all of the time instead of just at the beginning of the year."

'This one's extremely rare - pass me the ether jar!'