Home Equity Enthusiast Gifts

My equity is bigger than yours.

God bless our home equity line of credit.

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

"Look, son, real estate."

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

Do you like to talk about Real Estate? Like to meet other men and women who do? Dial the... REAL-ESTATE HOTLINE

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

Emigrating to France.

"I couldn't keep up the payments."

Got Rationality?

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

Home Sweet Second Home.

'I told my wife to run the house like a business. So she sold it to an American corporation.'

Real Estate Personals

A large bird house with many compartments; one is labeled "Sup't.".

"I'm a real estate developer and I'm just looking over this area."

"At last we own our own apartment. I feel like a king."