Home Investment Aficionado Gifts

'Go back to sleep, that was just the house value expanding.'

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

The stages of gentrification: a guide

Of course, the rent on the fourth floor is considerably higher.

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

"Look, son, real estate."

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

"It's not enough being a cat anymore. I want to be a fat cat."

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

"No, it hasn't, but when the sky does fall your investments are going to do very, very, well.''

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

"I couldn't keep up the payments."

Real Estate Personals

A large bird house with many compartments; one is labeled "Sup't.".

"At last we own our own apartment. I feel like a king."

'I told my wife to run the house like a business. So she sold it to an American corporation.'