Home Entertainment Buff Gifts

'The following program is best viewed on a large flat screen LED HDTV with Dolby rather than the old junk box you're watching.'

"Hmmm... Just what I figured: a universal remote!"

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

Television Readers.

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

'There's nothing on.'

American Idle.

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

'Someday TVs will be in big boxes on the floor.'

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

Proud of herself for "never owning a tv" Emily watches eight episodes of a mediocre tv show on her laptop while in bed.

We saw this episode of Grey's Anatony, I recognize the symptoms.

7 Dwarves of Retirement

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

Can't Touch This

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

Big screen TV falling through floor

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

'3-D TV Kit'

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

Cat gets a hole in one

Tunnel of TV

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

Homo Zapiens

"My favourite movie is Mrs Fire, without doubt."