Home Entertainment Buff Prints

'The following program is best viewed on a large flat screen LED HDTV with Dolby rather than the old junk box you're watching.'

"Hmmm... Just what I figured: a universal remote!"

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

Television Readers.

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

'There's nothing on.'

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

Proud of herself for "never owning a tv" Emily watches eight episodes of a mediocre tv show on her laptop while in bed.

'Someday TVs will be in big boxes on the floor.'

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

Big screen TV falling through floor

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

Can't Touch This

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

'3-D TV Kit'

"WOW...this 50.1 theatre sound system makes you feel you're actually in the movie!"

Homo Zapiens

"My favourite movie is Mrs Fire, without doubt."

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

Tunnel of TV

Cat gets a hole in one

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"It's not just the same old crap—it's wider."