Home Electronics Pillows

'Explain to me again how a trip to the mall to buy shoelaces resulted in this!'

"Relax! It's NOT a heart attack! The owner's manual says to expect intense panic during the unpacking stage, as you wonder how in the world you're going to pay for yet another totally impulsive purchase. It should pass in a day or so!"

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

'There's nothing on.'

American Idle.

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

The Not-So Smart Meter

Proud of herself for "never owning a tv" Emily watches eight episodes of a mediocre tv show on her laptop while in bed.

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

'Someday TVs will be in big boxes on the floor.'

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

"I think our smart home is suffering from separation anxiety. It's following us."

"Careful. That house has a taser."

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

"I had an Android, then I switched to an iPhone. Then I went back to an Android, then I switched back to the iPhone. . ."

"You'll love this model, sir! You won't have to miss any of the sports action when you go for a beer!"

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

Cat gets a hole in one

Homo Zapiens

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

'The program is stupid, primitive, embarrassing, and boring. I want to buy a new telly.'

'If it's a universal remote, how come it doesn't work on the refrigerator?'

'If I thought for one moment that you were identifying...!'