Home Dynamics Explorer T-Shirts

I'm here to update your census form. Since you mailed the form in, have any of your children moved back in with you?

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

'Ahhh...'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

'We're playing trampoline, mom.'

"If I ever start turning into my father do me a favor and don't turn into my mother."

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

"If you really loved me you wouldn't have called me Euthanasia!"

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

"I like to think that each generation will need a little less therapy than the generation before."

"Helen, is it possible that we are using our child as an intimacy barrier?"

'Good grief! Our house is so 'smart' it just refinanced itself!'

"All Vangundy is or ever shall be he owes to his mother."

"Someone here has gobbled down all the food rations..."

'Mom! Hunter keeps saying I'm not a thoroughbred. Can you show him my papers?'

How were the academic departments on the campuses you visited? Dad!!! Stop stressing me!! College hunting is hard enough without you prying into every detail of my life! Arrghh!! How were the drama departments?

"You'll do anything to get out of taking out the garbage."

"It's all right dear, it only seems what it is."

"It's half past November, young man! Get back in your room and hibernate!"

"Some people think the CEO has the most power, but I select everyone's chairs."

"Seven hundred wives? I'll bet he had a lot of inlaw problems?"

"Well, if it wasn't you who meowed, and it certainly wasn't me who meowed...then...who...meowed?"

'Dear, would it be all right if I was assertive for a minute?'

'I like your ideas so much Farnsworth, that I've decided to take full credit for them.'

"Are you too old to remember all the advice you tried to give me when I was too young to care?"

'I suppose a loan to send them to summer camp could be called a home improvement loan.'

"Lift your stems."

"The apes accepted you, but my sister's a whole other story."

'She lets the aupair drive the 4x4 to prep school.'

Coffee Delivered To The Office Building.

Location, Location, Location - Next 3 exits.

'If I was a bird - do you know who I'd poop on first?'