Home Dynamics Gifts

'Now that I have your attention, dear...'

'I shall be using my conversation during dinner to announce that I shall be mounting a challenge to your supremacy in the home.'

'We're playing trampoline, mom.'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

'Hold on, Baby, Hold on!'

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

The revenge of Russell

Hunter-gatherer. Planter-gardener. Scratcher-napper. Barker-wagger. Complainer-nagger.

"Well that's the last of our offspring gone - let battle commence."

I'm here to update your census form. Since you mailed the form in, have any of your children moved back in with you?

'Now, our master is always polite and leaves the seat up for us, not like our Mistress...'

Working from home.

"You'll do anything to get out of taking out the garbage."

"It's perfectly all right. I used to do the same sort of thing when I was a little boy."

"I can't get the blasted tin opener to work."

'Dear, would it be all right if I was assertive for a minute?'

Exhausted mother holds up 'Off Duty' sign.

"Lift your stems."

'I tried to get him to reinvent himself, but he said he couldn't get a patent.'

Sex Equality

Just one moment dear.

"Holiday time around our house is a nightmare."

No matter how many times I put them back in their own beds, they end up in mine.

'You click on it and it sends you to 'Ask Your Father do com'.'

Bloody Little Hitler

"Philip has questioned my stewardship."

'Yes, it's a six hour commute, but where else could we have this standard of living?'

"Oh, sure, I remember him. He was quiet, mostly kept to himself, paid the rent on time. You know, we were only married for sixteen years."

'Something is bothering you Roger. A wife can tell.'