Domestic Dynamics Enthusiast Gifts

"Would you have liked any help?"

"I need to talk about my inner life."

"You have a truly magnificent scowl!"

'Something is bothering you Roger. A wife can tell.'

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"Maybe the unseen hand of the market will change the diaper."

Lady asking her fiance's son if she can be his new mother.

'Hold on, Baby, Hold on!'

"Mum, Dad, I think I might be bipedal."

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

"Ours will be the first mixed marriage in my family. Dog people NEVER marry cat people."

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk - it's hard to believe we're related.'

'I'm very confused. I never had a father. I was raised by two mummies.'

'It's funny really - when your father's home he hardly ever says a word!'

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

"Do let me know if I'm getting in the way, won't you?"

"Mom, are you going to properly vet the baby before you bring her home from the hospital?"

Black and white penguins with gray and black and white child.

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

"We're looking forward to this little bundle of joy bringing out the worst in each of us."

"Well that's the last of our offspring gone - let battle commence."

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

"It's easy to understand the theory of evolution when you have a brother!"

"Oh, you silly girl, you! Don't tell me you brought home another husband."

"Act your birth order!"

'Life if so much simpler since we called Family Ref.'

'I used to think it was her red dress, but I've discovered I find your mother irritating in any color.'

'I try to run my family like a democracy, but what I really need is a line-item veto.'