Home Designer At Heart T-Shirts

"I love what you've done with him."

Empty box of ideas

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"Except for that wall socket, the whole damn thing is a trompe-l'oeil."

Moving in

'More homes and wind turbines planned.'

"If the nanny state wants us to solve the housing crisis they need to get out of the way and let us learn from the leaders in the field..."

'It's a new concept, the inside out house.'

Flower lamp.

"This one will go with everything,

Homes for sale - some assembly required.

Arctic Snails.

'That's what I call a boomerang sale. His wife takes one look and back it comes.'

'- and this is the drawing room..'

"To be honest, we were thinking of something like a Cape Cod."

'I can use surgery to restore your sex drive. Do you want the £3000 operation or the £4000 one?' - 'I'd rather have a new kitchen.'

"Is this the first time you've put wallpaper up?"

'So this is a kitchen!'

"The house needs to have comfortable window ledges. Lots of windows! And a fireplace!"

Another over-do-it-yourself project.

"Mobile Tree Home"

'We can't get enough of these makeover shows.'

'Of course, you have to imagine it finished.'

'Days until miminimalism is over and we can get our things out of storage...'

"I'm sorry, madam, but these units are for display purposes only."

"My husband, of course, will want a den."

"I'm thinking about a complete makeover. An extra wick or two and a scent infusion."

"It's a quote from the builder, he's wanting £900 just to come around and sneer at us!"

'And this is the walk-in laundry chute.'

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

"The house is staged beautifully. The only thing left is to tell Duane to go inside during showings."

If you lived here, this sign would block your view.

Houses built by Jack and Jerry.

Climbing into the bathtub

'Any chance you could keep my cell for me? I'd only just got it how I wanted it...'