Home Designer At Heart Pillows

"I love what you've done with him."

Empty box of ideas

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

Moving in

"Except for that wall socket, the whole damn thing is a trompe-l'oeil."

'More homes and wind turbines planned.'

"This one will go with everything,

'It's a new concept, the inside out house.'

"If the nanny state wants us to solve the housing crisis they need to get out of the way and let us learn from the leaders in the field..."

Flower lamp.

Homes for sale - some assembly required.

Arctic Snails.

"To be honest, we were thinking of something like a Cape Cod."

'I can use surgery to restore your sex drive. Do you want the £3000 operation or the £4000 one?' - 'I'd rather have a new kitchen.'

'That's what I call a boomerang sale. His wife takes one look and back it comes.'

'- and this is the drawing room..'

"Is this the first time you've put wallpaper up?"

'So this is a kitchen!'

"The house needs to have comfortable window ledges. Lots of windows! And a fireplace!"

"Mobile Tree Home"

'We can't get enough of these makeover shows.'

Another over-do-it-yourself project.

'Of course, you have to imagine it finished.'

"I'm sorry, madam, but these units are for display purposes only."

'Days until miminimalism is over and we can get our things out of storage...'

"My husband, of course, will want a den."

"It's a quote from the builder, he's wanting £900 just to come around and sneer at us!"

'And this is the walk-in laundry chute.'

"I'm thinking about a complete makeover. An extra wick or two and a scent infusion."

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

"The house is staged beautifully. The only thing left is to tell Duane to go inside during showings."

If you lived here, this sign would block your view.

"Or you could see it as the first step in an environmentally friendly, sustainable and affordable self-build project!"

'Burberry cushioning, very nice.'

Houses built by Jack and Jerry.