Home Cooking Skeptic Gifts

'Hon, I'm sure you'll get used to mom's cooking after awhile...'

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

Lady of the Cake.

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

Domestic Goddess.

"You do like octopus?"

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

'Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!'

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

Is that pancake ready yet?

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

Lockdown casserole

"... Oh, don't worry, I won't 'overcook it'... I hope you like, sushi."

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

Baking

'Does this thing get channel four.'

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

Surprise in the salad bowl

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

I made you a cake!

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

How to correctly estimate cooking time

"Prepare to meet your maker."

Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."