Home-cooked Meal Skeptic Gifts

'My wife can cook anything I want. But then I don't want it.'

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

Lady of the Cake.

Domestic Goddess.

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

"Joel! Killer crust!"

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

How to correctly estimate cooking time

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

"Prepare to meet your maker."

Ernie likes to fix things around the house. Just today he's fixed two sandwiches, three sundaes, and some microwave brownies.

"It's a recipe called no-cook fish chowder."

I made you a cake!

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

Surprise in the salad bowl

"I grabbed it away from Larry and seasoned it properly just in time. It's a rescue meatloaf."

"Please don't kill me."

"Oh we're fine, my husbands just learning to cook during the quarantine."

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

Ten out of ten for effort...

'Something new for Sunday lunch today - Corned-beef sandwiches!'

"Then add one extra large egg..."

"Are you going to ask for feedback every time you cook a meal?"

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

"A little under done?"