Home-cooked Meal Skeptic Gifts

'My wife can cook anything I want. But then I don't want it.'

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

Lady of the Cake.

Domestic Goddess.

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"Joel! Killer crust!"

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

"It's a recipe called no-cook fish chowder."

"Prepare to meet your maker."

"Please don't kill me."

How to correctly estimate cooking time

"Oh we're fine, my husbands just learning to cook during the quarantine."

"I grabbed it away from Larry and seasoned it properly just in time. It's a rescue meatloaf."

I made you a cake!

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

Surprise in the salad bowl

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

Ten out of ten for effort...

'Something new for Sunday lunch today - Corned-beef sandwiches!'

"Are you going to ask for feedback every time you cook a meal?"

"Then add one extra large egg..."

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

"A little under done?"

"Gigot de sept heures."