Home Comparer Pillows

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

"Did you get my e-mail about who takes out the trash today?"

"His father came from a family of climbers."

'Can we call a realtor now?!'

"As far as form following function, it's a brilliant design for a business center."

'You'll have more luck getting the sword out of the stone than getting the remote control out of his hand.'

"And the bathroom has a water view...if you fill the tub."

AL'S GYM, 'We're going to make a new man of you!' 'Will he have new credit cards?'

'Oh good, it looks like the few things I ordered from the catalogue have arrived.'

Location, Location, Location - Next 3 exits.

'You don't look like your passport photo.'

Valentines for Real Estate

'I'll show you my investment opportunity if you'll show me yours.'

Customer: 'Do you have anything for the same price that doesn't cost so much?'

Chess cleaner

Real estate salesman.

"You are here"

Staycation holidays...

I sold my house and my landlord's furious!

"Our real estate agent is earning his commission since the house sold before he even had put the FOR SALE sign up."

"So make me an offer."

Sold at almost the price we bought it for

'After the yard sale and then the garage sale, it was the next logical step.'

'I shall be using my conversation during dinner to announce that I shall be mounting a challenge to your supremacy in the home.'

"No, don't worry about it, it definitely looks better on you."

Workaholic's note to his wife

Seller's Market

Memoirs

"Those are the Petersons - they're waiting for our price to go down."

'I think we can safely eliminate bungalows from the search parameter.'

'I sold my house for £90,000 and my landlord's furious.'

Watching shopping channel - "Why do you always drag me along when you go shopping?"

'I got it from one of those home shopping shows. You're guaranteed to burn twice as many calories as your meal contains.'

"Perfect! but it's cheaper online."