Home Bar Gifts

"David, do you think we're drinking too much in the evenings?"

'They're nice, but do you really expect me to drink my imported Merlot from domestic Merlot glasses?'

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"This place has the best happy hour."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"Remember when it was 'The Dog and Duck'?"

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

'No ice.'

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

'No standing while room is in motion.'

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

American Idle.

'There's nothing on.'

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

A shop selling "Ice-cold Vodka" in 31 flavors.

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

"Death Star? Is that in the Valley?"

"It's a new countertop draft system for craft beer!"

"Remember, if I'm ever on life support unplug me... then plug me back in. See if that works."

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

"An everything Martini, please."

Proud of herself for "never owning a tv" Emily watches eight episodes of a mediocre tv show on her laptop while in bed.