Home Appliance Misuser Gifts

'I'm making milk shakes for everyone!'

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

"Never marry an engineer."

'I accidentally hacked into Mom's microwave oven.'

'And the funniest part is I made Frank go out and buy a new, $5,000 fridge, just to hold a $4.00 bottle of wine!'

'With all these mega mergers between electronics and telecommunications firms, I just got an obscene email from the toaster...'

"The toaster is broken again, sweetheart."

'Drat - the water purifier is on backwards.'

'I was walking past the washers and dryers and one of my socks disappeared.'

"Can you weaken the spring or something? -- It keeps knocking my coffee over."

Changing the Lightbulb.

'Come back, dear! -- I can explain!'

'Clothes-dryer Messiah.'

'I think I've found our overload.'

High wattage refrigerator bulb cooks food - "Moira, can we get a lower-wattage bulb in here?...this food's all cooked."

You know you're getting old...when your mobile phone rings and you start taking photographs of your ear.

Appliance Theatre

"With this new attachment your kitty can continue to sleep on the TV!"

He sold appliances.

"He's starting to make coffee in the mailbox, isn't he?"

"I'm in way over my head"

"Yeah, I get it, it's hot - but you don't hear me screaming every time, do you?"

"I like to sit here and look at all the things I don't have."

"Anytime Ed gets too cocky, I tell him to go try and fold a fitted bed sheet."

"We've started him in The Loose Connections Department."

Mother Nature goes appliance shopping.

Toasters for math people.

'I thought you wanted a clothes dryer.'

'Happy birthday, dear! -- it's a washer and dryer!'

'I think it's time to tell him he was adopted, Honey.'

'A hacker broke into our home computer and, in an act of random kindness, organized all of my recipes.'

"She'll come back. . . she always comes back."

'It doesn't say anything about a dishwasher blasting off into space.'

"Do you have one with magnets?"