Holy Humor Enthusiasts Pillows

'Your looking a little peepy today.'

'Wow! -- Talk about family values!'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

"It was better before God took up knitting."

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

"They're comfortable."

Night-time halo

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"It's true: no more burpees."

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"Yeah, I don't like this part either."

"OMG, LOL!"

"She wishes to range free!"

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

King on the toilet whilst jester laughs because the toilet paper is out of reach.

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

How Amazon was invented

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

A Mix Up Between the Buggy and Lawn Mower.

"...And that's how to translate honey into money."