Holy Humor Enthusiasts Pillows

'Your looking a little peepy today.'

'Wow! -- Talk about family values!'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"It was better before God took up knitting."

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

"They're comfortable."

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

Night-time halo

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

Retirement homes' 'pill fight'.

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Twenty Six

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"She wishes to range free!"

"It's true: no more burpees."

"Yeah, I don't like this part either."

"OMG, LOL!"

'I love it when you spoon me.' 'I love it when you fork me.'

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"...And that's how to translate honey into money."

A Mix Up Between the Buggy and Lawn Mower.

How Amazon was invented

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."